I tried to snort coke once, but I got an ice cube stuck up my nose!  

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I tried to snort coke once, but the bubbles almost killed me !  

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Why did the blonde snort nutri-sweet? - She thought it was diet coke!  

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One day this cop pulls over a stoner for speeding. The cop gets out of his car and asks the stoner for his license.

"You cops should get it together. One day you take away my license and the next day you ask me to show it.''  

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How many potheads does it take to change a light bulb? - Two: One to hold the bulb against the socket, and the other to smoke up until the room starts spinning.  

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What do you call a stoner with half his brain fried from doing drugs? - Gifted! Gifted.  

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A stoner called the fire department and said, "Come quick my house is on fire!" The Fireman asked "How do we get there?" The stoner says "DUH, in a big red truck!"  

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How do you know when you have smoked enough pot ? ? - When you start looking around for the directions on how to use the lighter.  

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How do you hide pot from a hippie? - Put it in his work boots.  

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What do you call a circle of blondes? - A dope ring.  

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What do you call a pothead that doesn't inhale? - Mr. President.  

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You ever hear the one about the pothead that studied for five days for a urine test?  

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How do you get a one-armed stoner out of a tree? - Wave?  

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What do you call it when a roach ash burns your shirt? - A pot hole!  

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You know you are a true stoner? - When your bong gets washed more than your dishes!  

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How did the pothead burn his ear? - He answered the phone while ironing his clothes  

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How did the pothead burn his other Ear ? - They called back.  

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what is the difference between a drunk guy and a stoner at a stop sign? - the drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!  

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Anonymous