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What is NARC Stopper?

NARC Stopper, short for "Nimbus Aperture Refraction Correlation" is an experimental software technology that I've developed which will provide myself and you, the counterculture surfer, with an added level of surfing confidence while visiting marijuana-jokes.com. 

I've developed this software for a couple of reasons. The first is I happen to like working on this type of new and exciting technology. The second is simply that far too many Narcs, law enforcement, trouble makers and little bitches cause trouble with peoples websites on the net. Especially websites of the counterculture and anti-establishment genre such as this one.  And although by running this site and this software, I am not doing anything illegal whatsoever (both on the net and in private I might add), I don't feel comfortable with law enforcement or government agencies viewing my shit. They can stay the fuck outta my bid-ness. I don't go to their sites, but I'm sure they come to mine just to creep-n-peep. And Uncle Elvis just ain't down with that snoopy shit. Plus I've got a few personal assholes on my list that I just don't want coming here either. So I reasoned that there just had to be a way to filter out these Narcs and keep them from coming back.

So what's a bruver to do about it? Besides banning ENTIRE blocks of IP addresses, filtering undesirables is expensive and difficult and not always foolproof. Actually nothing is foolproof, including NARC Stopper. But this technology offers a unique approach in that it filters an INDIVIDUAL versus an inanimate PC or IP address.

So please take the time to read through this detailed description of the NARC Stopper system. I think you'll be enlightened. And please take a moment to check out our randomly pulled reflection signatures and have a look at what NARC Stopper actually "sees" when it reads EMR.

What does it do?

NARC Stopper essentially "ghost reads" the errant EMR (Electromagnetic Radiation) emitted from a users pc monitor when it is operating. This EMR is already being passively leaked and transmitted to internet servers along with all data transmissions when your computer is connected to the Internet. 

NARC Stopper extrapolates this EMR data from the normal data flow to a server. The fluctuations in this EMR data is then parsed and these fluctuations are reconstructed using a series of algorithms to reproduce a persons electromagnetic "reflection". This electromagnetic "reflection" is partially a result of their body's electrical activity interacting and effecting the EMR emanating from their monitor screen.

It then resolves this parsed data against the users monitor resolution and color depth data, then converts this data into a complex and identifiably unique "reflection" signature.

This reflection signature is then compared against a default data base containing the facial reflection signatures of persons that we do not wish to view our site and quickly disconnects any confirmed matches. Unmatched  reflection signatures (signatures that are not in the banned users list) are immediately discarded after being cross-referenced to our data base of banned users.
 
 

What DOESN'T it do?

NARC Stopper does not record, image or store in any way the reflection data gathered from reflection signatures of non-banned users (i.e. YOU, if you are viewing this page right now). In other words, it does not keep a data base of the non-banned visitors, only the ones that are banned. Once a signature is checked against our banned users list, it is then immediately discarded. To keep these un-banned signatures would serve absolutely no purpose, and the storage space would require astronomical amounts of space, which would ultimately slow the entire system down to a crawl. We keep the signatures of those who we don't want to access us and toss the rest. (please read on about how NARC Stopper makes these determinations)

NARC Stopper does not share ANY information with any other system, corporations, individuals or entities. Nor will it ever. It will be destroyed first. Period. End of fucking sentence. Any and all information contained in the NARC Stopper system, is immediately encrypted with the as-yet uncrackable 448 Bit Blowfish encryption algorithm. In addition, all datas in the NARC Stopper system, including its operating software can be erased remotely using a DOD 7-pass wipe. This can be performed by three different individuals and completed within in a matter of minutes, should The Man ever try to get frisky with a bruver, if you nah I mean...

It does not, and is not designed, nor is capable of, obtaining any personally identifiable information whatsoever. It doesn't even log your IP address. It simply gathers anonymous reflection signatures of users accessing the site and compares them to a known data base of banned signatures and runs them through default algorithms.

What is EMR?

EMR or EM stands for ElectroMagnetic Radiation.
Nearly all electronic devices and appliances produce EMR. EMR is essentially a necessary by-product caused by the electrical processes that these devices require to operate. This EMR leaks out in every direction from the device, especially through conductive materials such as it's power cord and wires. This radiation leaks right through almost every material, including wood, plastic, stone, brick and most metals. The only way to stop emanating EMR is to totally shield the device using a Faraday-Cage, which uses specially lined casings and insulators. Unfortunately this is entirely cost prohibitive and impractical for consumer and business level devices. However, the government does employ this shielding on sensitive system components (namely pc's and networks) and  will sometimes shield a whole room or even an entire building from potentially compromising EMR releases.

All electronic devices can affect and be effected by EMR. But the extent of this effect depends upon the levels of EMR released. Smaller releases of EMR can cause only minor disturbances in other devices. For example, airliners make you turn off cell phones, games and laptops during the crucial takeoffs and landings, so that their EMR doesn't interfere with the aircraft's electronic navigational or communications devices. Another example is "cross-talk" on telephone lines, when you are able to hear someone else's conversation. This is caused by leaked EMR between telephone data lines. An example of large scale disruption would be large thermonuclear detonations. They release a huge ElectroMagnetic Pulse, known as EMP which is similar in nature to EMR. This EMP (or "Pinch" as it is sometimes referred to) will disrupt the operations of all electronic devices in it's vicinity. Automobile computer controllers, clocks, PC's stereos, ATM's, TV's etc., will all come to at least a temporary halt and may even be permanently damaged from the resulting EMP burst (which really doesn't matter due to the ensuing 4,500 degree thermonuclear blast wave). This is a large scale example of cause and effect. But what NARC Stopper deals with is the very minute cause and effect of your body's electrical activity on the EMR released from each individual pixel of your PC monitor.

How does NARC Stopper gather EMR?

NARC Stopper obtains monitor reflection data passively and unobtrusively through normal data transmissions to our server. I cannot give specific details on its precise operation, but in essence, here's how it works:

Pc monitors and EMR:
As mentioned above, a pc's monitor gives off EMR. This radiation can disturb other electronic processes and signals in it's vicinity, such as your telephone, satellite or cable connection to the internet. That's why they tell you not to place external modems-and audio speakers, magnetic tapes, and credit cards among other things-on top of your pc monitor or television set. Now unless your modem is duct taped directly to the screen of your monitor, it usually has no noticeable effect on your data transfer. But there is still an effect, albeit very minute, which is detectable, measurable and subject to comparisons and processing.

The Kirlian effect:
This seemingly random EMR emanating from your monitor to your data transfer would be essentially useless, but since the average user sits less than 24" away from their monitor's display screen, the presence of the body's natural electrical current (mostly from the head and upper body because of the brain's relatively high level of electrical activity) subtly changes this leaked EMR in a unique and measurable way. It then passes as usual into your data transfer.

EMR mapping:
Each and every pixel of your monitor releases it's own tiny-but equal-portion of the total EMR emitted for any given monitor. Your body's electrical activity effects each individual pixel's EMR in direct relationship to the distance of each surface, ridge and valley of your face and their distance to the monitor screen (the EMR source). Each pixel's individual and unique fluctuation in response to the electromagnetic presence of your face is interpreted by NARC Stopper, combined with the rest of the EMR data (colors, geometry, etc.) and mapped into a reflection signature. In principle, this process operates very similar to ground mapping radar which maps ridges and valleys of land masses from airplanes and satellites based on the interpretation in response times of returning radar "pings". So in other words, when the EMR emanating from your monitor screen heads towards your face, it will first hit the highest point (horizontally) of your face, typically the very tip of your nose. It then hits the next highest point of your face and so on. The last and lowest point it will hit will probably be your eyes. Therefore, the EMR that touched your nose, was effected by your body's electrical current before the EMR that hit your eyes. The normally emanated EMR (if no one was present in front of the monitor) now contains this minute fluctuation from your presence, which is leaked into your normal data transfer over the internet.

How does NARC Stopper filter EMR signatures?

NARC Stopper first gathers the raw EMR data, then parses it and then generates a facial reflection signature to compare against it's data bases. It first compares this signature to a data base containing the facial reflection signatures of known individuals that we do not wish to access the site. This is known as our "Smack Down" or banned users data base) If no matches are made, it then processes the Reflection Signature against a very comprehensive default data base which contains certain specific characteristics of potential users that we do not wish to access our site. Once processed, NARC Stopper will then Smack Down any users that meet these criteria.

NARC Stopper then processes the remaining reflection data against an internal data base of over 650 known neck tie patterns (such as paisley, checkered, striped, plaid etc.) produced by 33 different clothing manufacturers in 12 countries. These tie patterns were gathered from the product information catalogs of dozens of textile wholesalers. In addition, the software "learns" new tie patterns on the fly using an algorithm which can mix the geometric patterns of all ties in its data base and create new signatures to compare against unknown patterns which it deems suspect and then respond accordingly. 

NARC Stopper then further processes the reflection signature to detect the presence of metallic or semi metallic badges commonly used by local, state and government law enforcement agencies. This is accomplished with a combination of three parsing algorithms executed in this order: 

The first algorithm cross references a data-base of over 8,500 badges currently in use by the above mentioned agencies (and yes, this data is publicly available). 

The second algorithm parses the reflection signature and then extrapolates it into geometric shapes, which it then compares to a stored set of geometric signatures (i.e. stars, ovals, trapezoids, etc.). 

The third algorithm processes, then extracts and separates the color values (i.e. # of colors used, RGB, Hue, Saturation, Brightness, Gamma etc.). It then cross references these colors against a data base palette of known badge color values, including their reflective color properties. Then, through a highly complex algorithm, it parses all three sets of datas and determines if the result data represents a banned signature and proceeds accordingly. 
 
 

How accurate is it?

NARC Stopper software boasts a correct recognition rate of over 98% (+/- 1.5%), up from (a totally impractical to implement) 64.87% in early beta tests of the site software. Most of the beta inaccuracies were found to be due to incorrect compensation for fluorescent lighting, and the stupidly overlooked lack of compensation for EMR monitor shields (EMR still gets through/around just fine though). 

However, about 85% of the total errors are now produced only by certain circular shaped gold colored medallions/jewelery worn around the neck usually between 3.5 to 6.3 inches in diameter. 

Further development will yield additional algorithms to detect and compensate for even the slightest presence of a neck chain and also to detect and compensate for the typically centered placement of personal jewelry/medallions vs. the typically offset placement of badges upon law enforcement uniforms. We are also developing an algorithm to more accurately differentiate between personal medallions and badges which are both worn around the neck with a chain. Badges are typically suspended around the neck by a silver toned chain and placed on a black or brown leather or naugahide badge holder. The presence of these badge holders and silver toned chain will assist in differentiating badges from personal jewelry.